Monday, July 7, 2008

Facebook Creeps Me Out

Facebook creeps me out. Yes - you heard me right - FACE BOOK CREEPS ME OUT. Why you might ask? Well, it's a great tool to get back in touch with people you haven't talked to or thought about in YEARS at the click of a button - all you have to is "make a friend request" or "accept a friend request." Simple. Done. Suddenly you are reading up on people you didn't know still existed (the imperative word being "READING") and you find yourself cyber-stalking them like nobody's business. I suppose I could've made an effort to contact some of these people ... you know, post a message on their little wall but I figured this much: If I didn't give a shit about them then, I surely don't give a shit about them now. Besides. Contacting the people you're secretly stalking makes for a bad stalker.

But I must admit - it's interesting to see how much people have changed. Surprisingly, most of the people on my "friends list" are from high school which was a lifetime ago. Many are married but most just got fat and ugly. I have no real purpose for going on Facebook other than to accept friend requests, go to their profile, look through all of their pictures, check their marital status, work experience, see who they're friends with (and as I'm making this list I realized in my head I'm starting to sound like a gnarly online stalker) ... you know, all the useless-information-that-I-absolutely-HAVE-to-know about the people on FaceBook who are COMPLETELY irrelevant to my life.

I'm sure someone out there is doing the same to me. I bet they're looking at my facebook profile saying "man did she get fat and ugly" and they're reading up on me ... secretly, quietly, alone in a dark room ... without me knowing who or where or when.

I'm telling you. It creeps me out.

Facebook creeps me out.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Damnit - let me turn!

Today is the third time in a row I almost got into an accident turning into the parking lot of my office. I don't understand, if the light is red and all the cars are stopped bumper to bumper, why nobody will stop in front of the parking lot to let me turn in.

See, I move into the middle turning lane and ONCE in a blue moon a car in the lane closest to me will stop and let me turn. But even when that happens its a given the dumbshits in the far lane never stop to let me go. Today was no different.

As I waited impatiently in my turning lane, the light turned red and cars started slowing down. I eagerly tried to make eye contact with each passing car so they would give me the 10 feet clearance for my turn. Car after car went by ... and I started to lose hope. Just as I was about to get nasty with my horn - **ta da** a car in the lane closest to me stopped and gave me the wave. I waved back and started inching my way across the turn and then SLAMMED on the brakes because the douchbag in the next lane (even though he saw everyone stopped) wanted to block my turn. I stopped, he stopped. Then as I thought I had clearance and started turning again, he started inching forward. FUCKING DOUCHBAG would NOT let me turn. So there I was, blocking traffic, perpendicular to the cars and was getting nasty-honked at by everyone. The the guy had the nerve to give me the finger and call me a shitty asian driver out of his window.

I shoulda gotten out of my car and took my baseball bat to his car.

Seriously. WTF?

Thursday, June 12, 2008

DENIED .... and rejected ...

Something monumental happened today - I, as a full-fledged-bonified-American-Citizen, was stripped from the very freedom that our country was founded on... believed in ... and lived for. Today, I was denied a library card (fuck you Oak Brook library). You heard right. DENIED from a free servicing public library that millions of hard-earned tax dollars go to every year.

After four years of living in Oak Brook I decided to explore the town and get myself a library card. You know, be patriotic, support the library system, read books, learn more and better myself as a US citizen. Once there and a glance at my home address, I was told I did not qualify for a card because my home address was in an "unincorporated area" and that if I did want to purchase one (Ok- I can shell out $5) I would have to pay $480 for the year. $480!!! What are they smoking? Are they on crack? They're going to sell me a FREE service for $480 a year when I live in the fucking town?!?

Baffled by the whole experience, I was sent packing, alone, ashamed and without a goddamn library card. What else is there to believe in and fight for if a tax-paying citizen can't even get a library card in her own town? Didn't George W. Bush push for the "no child left behind" law? I was left behind, denied of my basic right to education and higher learning. With a statistic of US population library card holders at a mere 3%, how dare they shun me away because of some imaginary line that put me in an "unincorporated grid?" I own my home goddammit! I pay my taxes like everyone else, get pulled over like everyone else and pay my tickets like everyone else.

What has the world come to? What else is there to live for? Where is my goddamn library card!?

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

When Your Ex Gets Engaged ...

My ex from college just got engaged. I found out in an email from him. First email in three years and he tells me he's getting hitched in October. That was awkward. It's not that I'm not happy for him but this is the same guy that dated me as a rebound from a serious girlfriend and then broke up with me literally with "I could be a great boyfriend. I am a great boyfriend if I'm really into the girl... but to be honest I'm really not that into you." Ouch. That was a fucking knife right in the heart. Did he learn that phrase from Sex and the City?

It's been 6 years since that phrase came out of his mouth and I've since moved on .. but its still weird. I'm not hung up on him but I feel funny. My first thought was "wow, really? why someone else and not me? why are YOU so lucky?" He was a great boyfriend when he wanted to be. He was totally hot and made me dinner. We both had our fair share of issues but who didn't? I remember when he broke up with me. I actually asked him what I could do different so he'd take me back. I made a fucking list of how I would change so he would be my boyfriend again. I think we all know how that ended up.

6 years later as I sit here ... thinking about that man with someone else, I realized I completely castrated myself the day I said I was going to change for a man. People don't change. People can't change. But I was young and naive and unfortunately, years of that behavior has callused me over into a raging bitch.

So back to that engagement thing. I emailed him back and wished him well even though what I really wanted to say was "you fucking asshole. i hope your future babies are born hairy and ugly." But I guess we can't always say what we want, can we?

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Bitchtarded work shenannigans

We all have them - shady-ass coworkers who will throw anyone under the bus to save their own skin. You know, the one who sits on something for 3 hours, misses deadline by 20 minutes and then tells the boss that its because YOU took too long when it was her who didn't handle things in a timely fashion?

I personally hate drama in the workplace. Work is tedious and hard enough as it is without having to make it more difficult by adding extra servings of drama-sauce to everything. I know, because I have to deal with it every single goddamn day of my life. Its bad enough that people fuck up at their jobs but to blame it on someone else? Now that's just gaytarded.

Case in point:

This morning at 8:00am I sent client information over to our processor to review in order to quote liability insurance for a new client who needed to show proof of insurance by 3:00pm or else they lose a $50,000 job. I continued to send multiple emails to try to schedule a conference call between the processor and the client with no response from the processor. When I walked over to her desk around 9:30am she promptly stood up and walked away (how rude!) and disregarded my presence completely. At 10:30am she sends an email to the entire team (including my boss who is the president of the company) and said she had been available all morning for the call. In good faith I scheduled it for 11:00am. I heard nothing back from her but called the client at 12:30pm to reassure him we were working as diligently as possible and he reiterated he needed everything by 3:00pm. I emailed the team to let them know client needed insurance by 3:00pm and if it wasn't a feasible time line then I need to know to call the client. No response from ANYONE - 2:30pm, 2:45pm, 3:00pm, nothing. 3;15pm rolls around and I email the processor to which she responds "left a message for client to let him know quote is ready." 4:00pm she walks by my desk and says "left a message for the client. he said you took too long."
4:30pm - got an email from my boss "processor left a message for client and then called the other guy - who said you took so long that they might have bought somewhere else."

Fucking bitchtard. I can't believe this shit.

Monday, April 28, 2008

THE HILLS suck ... or does it?

Alright - I admit it. I love THE HILLS. Okay, so I'm way too old to be watching that shit but come on, the drama just sucks you right in. It's like a train wreck happening in slow motion that you just can't fucking look away from and honestly - most of us can relate.

Admit it! We've all had that one back-stabbing-bitch-of-a-friend who we will never forgive or forget. You know, the friendship that ended so badly you just want that person to eat shit and die? Oh, and how about that one "friend" who got a boyfriend/girlfriend and then just kicked you to the curb like a piece of rancid meat and then came crawling back to you when the shit hit the fan? Or how about the friend who used you as an excuse while she cheated on her boyfriend and when she got caught, blamed you for not keeping a better handle on her lies?

So here's the good thing about The Hills. It's therapeutic. Every time I watch that show I breathe a huge sigh of relief knowing that fucked up shit happens to everyone. There IS drama-drama-all-around and everyone gets a drink.