My ex from college just got engaged. I found out in an email from him. First email in three years and he tells me he's getting hitched in October. That was awkward. It's not that I'm not happy for him but this is the same guy that dated me as a rebound from a serious girlfriend and then broke up with me literally with "I could be a great boyfriend. I am a great boyfriend if I'm really into the girl... but to be honest I'm really not that into you." Ouch. That was a fucking knife right in the heart. Did he learn that phrase from Sex and the City?
It's been 6 years since that phrase came out of his mouth and I've since moved on .. but its still weird. I'm not hung up on him but I feel funny. My first thought was "wow, really? why someone else and not me? why are YOU so lucky?" He was a great boyfriend when he wanted to be. He was totally hot and made me dinner. We both had our fair share of issues but who didn't? I remember when he broke up with me. I actually asked him what I could do different so he'd take me back. I made a fucking list of how I would change so he would be my boyfriend again. I think we all know how that ended up.
6 years later as I sit here ... thinking about that man with someone else, I realized I completely castrated myself the day I said I was going to change for a man. People don't change. People can't change. But I was young and naive and unfortunately, years of that behavior has callused me over into a raging bitch.
So back to that engagement thing. I emailed him back and wished him well even though what I really wanted to say was "you fucking asshole. i hope your future babies are born hairy and ugly." But I guess we can't always say what we want, can we?
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